Peace at the cemetery

Today I posted something about wanting information about life after death. The thing is, I was struggling so much about what's in store for my husband. I wanted a for sure "He's definitively in heaven" answer. Well, what I got was pretty cool. One of my friends posted a link to an article that highlighted some of the lds beliefs about the spirit world and repentance and different insights. After reading the article I took some flowers and a penny to Shawn's grave. The flowers were red carnations. Red for love of course, because I'm very much in love with Shawn. A penny for luck. There's actually a story behind the penny. (A future blog) As I was standing there looking at the headstone, which is beautiful by the way, it hit me that of course Shawn is in heaven. He's learning and loving and living. A loving God would want his children to have every chance they can to learn the gospel and progress through the eternities. It also hit me that when I cry or feel sad, he knows and wants to comfort me. I felt his presence for a moment as I cried. It seemed like in my heart I felt him. The holy ghost helped me feel peace as I ran back to the car to go about the rest of my day. Satan thought he could win. Nope, not today!

Catching up

An update on our lives. Serenity is now rolling over, making raspberries, smiles really big especially when I come in the room, and recognizes Braden enough to cry when he picks her up. Not sure why she does that except she doesn't see him as much anymore. Me, I'm still working full time and going to school. My first quarter is about half over. Crazy to think that. I just started. Math remains a tough subject for me and the amount of Biology homework is a bit much. At least I think so. But I'm doing ok. I'm almost done with the grief support group I was attending and it went good. I feel a little better. Shawn's head stone is finally there and it looks so nice. It feels so good to have it there. Life had found a way to continue even without Shawn. I didn't want it to, there for a while. But daily I am glad of the small things in life. Well I better get going. Just wanted to post a little something.

A day in the life

Today's lesson in relief society was about being humble. I have issues with pride but they aren't what people think. I'm too proud to ask for help. I'm slowly getting better at this. It looks as though I'll continue to be compelled to be humble due to a recent doctor's visit. I went in for a check up and some immunizations for nursing school. The doc felt that a second titer test should be done. She didn't believe that I'm not immune to chickenpox and mmr. I also mentioned some issues with constant pain I've been struggling with. She did a pressure point test and she diagnosed me with fibro myalgia. I'm learning as much as possible about the disease. There may be times I need to let go of even more pride and accept help because of that. We'll see. For now, sleep and exercise, eating better and staying positive is how I'm choosing to move forward. I'm learning more and more that I am not in charge of me life, God is. For that I am grateful. I had a really cool experience happen in church today. I'm the relief society chorister in my ward and I had a really strong feeling that we needed to sing I need the every hour today. I think it touched everyone in the room as we sang about needing our Saviour. I know I cried a little. Later on Shawn's friend Nate came to visit and brought his daughter. It was so neat to see how he is with Serenity. He's a very kind person to care about Shawn's family. All in all, a good day!

Great days ahead

Great news for the Shawn Parker family. A lot of things I had up in the air are settling the way I needed them to. I won't go into great details but a lot of worry has been elevated. The first week of school did not kill me. In fact, I rather like being in school.  Serenity did just fine in day care while I was in school. I even got my homework done. Shawn's head stone is supposed to come in within the next week. Along with all the good news I went to the temple today. It was a good experience. As I was running errands I started thinking about the future, about Shawn's and my future. I know without a doubt that he wants me and Serenity to be with him for eternity. It will be such a special day. As time passes I find myself thinking about what temple Shawn would want to go through. Please, if Shawn ever said anything about what temple he wanted to go through, let me know.