Some things I realized yesterday at the temple

I had the opportunity to go to the temple with some of my family today.  I realized a few things while I was there.  The first came as quite a shock to me.  I felt the Spirit very strong from the very beginning, walking in the doors.  I knew I was were I was supposed to be.  As I sat listening to sealings being performed I started thinking about me and Shawn.  Ok, let's be real for a moment.  When is there a time I don't find an excuse to think of my husband?  But that is as it is supposed to be.  So here I am thinking about Shawn and wondering why, with the Spirit being so strong, I couldn't feel the presence of my husband in the room with me.  I have felt him around me quite a lot since his passing to the other side.  I began really thinking and pondering and praying about this.  I had a strong feeling that he wanted to be there but can't yet because his spirit isn't ready for that quite yet.  I have since started praying daily that Shawn will have the fortitude to "just keep swimming," as Dory from Finding Nemo would say.  The second was that I really can be sealed to Shawn forever.  I have always had a testimony of temple work but it never really occurred to me the depth of forever, and that my relationship with Shawn and the rest of my family will go on forever.  Once I get to the other side, all this will seem so short that it won't even matter.  What's crazy is that life here on earth is so finite and time means so much.  I pray every day that I will be worthy to be sealed to Shawn and Serenity.  That is what I am working toward.  I have a strong feeling that Shawn is working really hard towards this too.  I hope we can both be ready when the time comes to go through the temple.  Along with this realization, I had a hard thing witnessed to me.  A few days ago I read a talk from General Conference about receiving a revelation for yourself.  I don't remember the name of the talk even but I do remember that the speaker challenged us all to pray about changing just one weakness.  Then we are supposed to really ponder and listen for an answer.  I prayed for that revelation and have been really thinking about stuff in my life that needs to change.  I was told by the Holy Ghost that I need to have a cleaner, more organized house so that me and the kids can feel the Spirit more and so that Shawn will want to come visit more often.  Side note: I had been praying for Shawn's presence to be felt more and couldn't understand why my prayer wasn't being answered.  I think that this was the answer.  I know it sounds so simple to keep a house clean.  With school, full time work and having a baby, I am struggling.  Add to that I had my first really bad day with Fibromyalgia yesterday and barely had the energy to do the things that had to be done, much less any house work.  I ended up so weak that I couldn't even lift the carseat or hold Serenity for a very long at a time.  I really need to learn that I need to make sure I am sleeping enough.  Friday night, I didn't sleep good because Serenity was up most of the night.  This made the Fibro so much worse than normal.  However, we got good sleep Sat night so today was better.  I even got some homework and cleaning done.  Well, I will sign off for now.  I can't wait to see what great things happen over the next week.