Just a thought....

I was thinking yesterday about some things and the following came to my mind just as clear as if someone was talking to me.  It came to me that I chose this life, knowing how it would all turn out.  I got the impression that in Heaven, in our pre earth life, Shawn and I were hanging out talking about this new adventure called Earth life, when we were approached by our loving Father, or one of his angels, and told that we needed to make a choice.  We sat down together with whomever was talking to us.  We were told that we would have to leave Heaven and that we could come back if we chose to by being righteous, good people after our Earth Life was over. We were told we'd either get to choose to meet on Earth and be happy for a time together or we could meet when our Heavenly Father wanted us to meet and only be with each other for a short time before Shawn would be called home.  We would then be able to be together forever in the eternities but I'd have to be alone here on Earth for a time and Shawn would have to return to Heaven before me.  We were told that it would be really hard, there would be times we'd want to give up.  There were lots of challenges for both of us.  But when we proved we had done the best we could and lived up to the promises we made to each other and God, we could be together forever and the time apart on Earth would be a small moment.  But if we chose to be happy together on Earth and went against Heavenly Father's plan, we would not have the gospel in our lives and we would not have happiness forever.  In my mind's eye, I can see Shawn and I thinking about it for a minute or two and then Shawn answering for the both of us, (cuz that's kinda how he is) saying, ok, we'll do it God's way.  No matter how hard, you can depend on us.  We definitely want to be together forever and if this is the only way than ok.  We'll do it. I think that I then agreed with Shawn and the plan for us and our families was set in motion.  The more time passes from Shawn's death, the more I am starting to see that this is the way my life is supposed to be.  Heavenly Father provided this and many more challenges because He knew I could handle it and He knew my stubborn spirit would need them to grow.  As I look forward to the new year starting in a few days, I am filled with happiness and faith.  Faith that the new year will be a good one.  Happiness because I get another year with my kids, family and friends.  May next year be a year of peace for all, even if the peace is only in the heart and the home.