A Rant

Spoiler Alert: The following entry is a rant.  It is not a very loving rant.  However, in my eyes it is a true rant. It is not Christlike, but sometimes I feel unChristlike, sad to say.  I won't be offended if this post isn't read by many.  I promise no cuss words were used.  OK, here goes.  The other day, during the middle of my day I get a text from my ex husband that basically says he overpaid me on child support and he can either not pay anything to me on his next payday or I can return the money he overpaid me.  First of all, he is suddenly paying a significant amount (hundreds of dollars) less than he paid me ever in all of our divorce.  My income did not increase and the state of Utah did not approve of the decrease.  So to me, I see it as not necessarily being overpaid.  Second, he who came to me a couple weeks ago with a sob story about his financial woes (although he has a spouse quite capable of work) so I would go along with a ridiculously low amount of child support is asking his recently widowed ex wife to refund him money when I myself am raising 3 kids all by myself on my income alone?? Really?? I will be so glad when I get the notice from ORS that they have taken over the case.  Then someone else can deal with all this crap.  So yes, I rolled over and gave him his stupid money back.  Why??  Because it's just money.  Yeah it makes life easier to have some but when I finish nursing school and can provide happily for all of my kids I will feel great about myself.  It infuriates me because by being the way he's being, he's hurting my children.  I couldn't care less about being hurt but when it's my kids, I am like the Mommy Bear and I get mad. 

Ok, second thing.  I got a phone call from an attorney that wants me to represent Shawn in a law suit for a car accident that happened last fall.  Really?? My dead husband??  I nicely explained that Shawn has passed away and she said she was sorry for my loss and they would send all the paper work that needs to be signed to me as soon as possible.  I also told her about my financial situation and she said she was sorry, but they needed to figure out how they were going to handle the law suit against Shawn.  I was kinda frustrated and after I hung up, I said to myself, "What are they going to do, dig up my husband and sue him for all he's worth?"

Some things like having to pay hospital bills when the patient didn't survive and ambulance rides when it was a pointless attempt because the patient was pretty much already dead are an inconvenience.  Happily enough, all of the places that I owe money to are willing to work out payment plans at least until I find out how much money I might get and can pay them all off in full.  So, for today, that is my silver lining and I thank my Heavenly Father for the learning opportunity He has provided.  As grateful as I am, I do wonder when I get a little "fall break," "Christmas break," or "Spring break."  Sorry so long, I just had a lot to say tonight and now I feel more Christlike and loving, now that all the bad is regurgitated onto the paper.