Life

I think that it's called disjointed thinking when you have a whole lot to say that doesn't all fit in one nice neat conversation.  Here's some of my mental crap.  So first of all, meaning at the top of the surface not necessarily most important, my Grandpa Paul passed away on Friday.  Grandpa Paul was my hero.  He was silent but I knew he loved me.  He wasn't a big fan of hugs and wasn't a huge fan of the words "I love you."  I think he just got used to the fact that when I came to visit, I wasn't leaving until I hugged him and said I love you about 5 times.  Grandpa teased me a lot and he'd make this funny face with his lips all sideways.  I spent a whole summer trying to learn how to do that with my lips and never succeeded.  Grandpa bought me Twix candy bars at the little mechanic shop in Randolph when I went and visited in the summer time.  Grandpa and Grandma took me arrow head hunting one summer.  It was a lot of fun.  Grandpa loved Whoppers candy and watched the Star Wars trilogy with my cousins and I about a million times, and I think he liked it just as much as the first time.  He loved shows like The Thing, The day the earth stood still (the really old black and white version), Perry Mason and the Fox News ( later on when I was all grown up).  In my journal over the years, I have kept track of almost all the movies Grandpa and I watched together.  Explorers and Flight of the Navigator for some reason come to mind as well as Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf Too.  One year, I drove up to see my Grandparents and Grandpa had to weld my muffler back onto my car because I went four wheeling in a 1978 Ford Fairmont station wagon.  Anyways, my point to all this is that for the last 15 or so years, his health hasn't been the best.  The last 5 or so years we grandkids have been concerned that each time we saw him would be our last because of how sick he was.  This last time I visited, he got to me Serenity and hear about Shawn.  I hope Shawn likes Grandpa and Grandpa likes Shawn.  They are both kinda stubborn.  Finally, witnessing him die the other day, I realized that no matter what, I have to be at the funeral.  My life won't be complete if I don't go.  However, I can start nursing school in January if I have to so I can be at the funeral.  That brings up the second thing.  I have an orientation that I was told will be the end of the world if I miss on Wednesday, the same day as the funeral.  So, I'm calling Fortis tomorrow and we'll see what they tell me.  The worst they can say is that I'll have to start in January.  Maybe that is what God wants anyway.  It seems that my plans for me aren't His plan.  So, I'm leaving it in God's hands.  The last thing on my mind right now is an experience I had this weekend.  Out of the clear blue the other day, Shawn's ex sister in law contacted me concerning their divorce decree (which I can't seem to find anywhere) and their wedding photos, video etc.  Fortunately, I have some of the stuff she was looking for, although I don't understand why she never got it from Shawn before now.  Anyway, the meeting went good.  She told me how good Shawn was to Madison and how good his parents where to them.  She also told me that she was sorry for judging Shawn the way she did.  After her sister moved in with her, she started understanding why Shawn did what he did and said the things he did when they were married.  Just another testament to me that under it all, Shawn is a kind hearted loving man.  He struggled through a lot of crap.  He may have lost his battle on this earth, but in my opinion, he sure fought hard.  He isn't done fighting for the right.  He will eventually win the War.